It has now been 12 weeks- 3 months since college started. Since August 23rd, I have not spent even 24 hours away from this campus. I have gotten some strange looks and many questions about this decision. Let me try to explain the reasons behind and the effects of this decision.
I have a history of moving. My parents and I counted it up one time, I think we've had just over 20 residences since they've had me- including changing countries various times. The upshot of this history is, I know how to move. I know what it feels like. So when I moved to college, I decided that I would treat it like moving anywhere else: I would dive in. Completely. Once here, there was no going back to the things I knew or the things I was accustomed to. That's one reason that I did not leave.
Of course, like all moves, it has been exhausting at times. There have been weeks where I just had no energy, no... desire left in me to try to engage this new world. But with the help of friends both old and new, I managed to move through, and persevere.
Now, as it turns out, though I have made much progress, I am exhausted. Burnt out is too strong a word, but it's close. If I let myself rest though...
Who knows what will happen when I have to come back? That, friends, is my dilemma. As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach I have to wonder if it will be better for me to go back to places and people I am comfortable with, though parting will be sorrowful.
I don't know...
I just want to make it.
Is this what grown-up life is always like?
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If you can get your hands on a ticket over here, "good for you" or "bad" will not matter. Because, we will MAKE an apparently bad idea into an oasis of rest that WOULD be good for you. Even if just at the moment. And then you can go back to college and I can encourage you from here, again.
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