the title is basically the reason for this post. that and my sadness at being incapable of getting my hair back, or getting a really good haircut, or having the will to do anything to said hair except wash it regularly and brush it occasionally.
sigh.
I hate that in America it's not ok to not be ok. IT'S STUPID!!! Everyone is not ok sometimes. Life is not a bed of roses. Life is not instant gratification. Life is TOUGH, even when it seems like it shouldn't be.
My sister accused me of not letting myself be happy, because despite her repeated assertions (and belief) that my haircut is "cute," I insist that it is a cross between making me look like a boy and like a 40-something year old woman. Also because, as she interprets the situation, i knew perfectly well walking into that salon what I wanted, and didn't tell my hairdresser- so on top of not liking my cut, it's my own fault that the cut looks the way it does. Which is true, in a way. I knew that I wanted it to be beautiful, and easy to take care of. But, you know how ideals go. They're never quite attainable. And, in the case of my hair, they're vague and unformed and have something to do with a "trained hair specialist" (insert sardonic comment on THAT title here) telling me what will look perfect with my face.
Which of course means that I walk into the hair salon every three months or so, hoping for a miracle, and walk out to disappointedly realize that I somehow managed to get the exact same haircut I had before, only shorter. Sigh.
Of course, my sister had to confront me with this gem of an insight at 1AM, so it inevitably lead to some soul-searching on my part, and an overreaction in the shape of a fight. I hate fighting (real fighting, not bickering). Particularly because I can never say what I want to say in a way that my opponent (not even my sister, whom I've known since she was born) will understand. Which is a serious problem if you want to say, win a fight, or get your point across. So I end up mostly making frustrated "grr"ing noises, leaving the room, and finding a quiet place to sort out my thoughts and write.
...you know, maybe i'll just forsake hair-cutting altogether. It seems to lead to too much trouble.
over 'n out.
E.O.
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2 comments:
the solution? HENNA.
it will solve all your hair problems by giving you worse ones ;P
there's also the option of dyeing it green.
(btw, captcha was flardis. some kind of tardis?)
"it's not okay to not be okay" sums up my year in a sentence. be okay with not being okay! it helps a little just knowing that. :)
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