Today was a day of much thought for me, a sort of clarity and depth I haven't forced my mind to probe in many a month. Thank God for today. I felt like me again. I read in this book, The Once and Future King, a passage about what it calls the "seventh sense"- the one that people get around the middle age and that allows them to calmly brave the crazy waves of life, where the basic dichotomies that young people experience don't matter so much any more. I guess what it means is that people give up trying to figure life out and just "roll with the punches", to quote K. shucks. I can see the attraction. i mean, then you wouldn't be worrying about stuff all the time. But I think you'd loose something precious, too. You'd lose clarity, and poignancy, and beauty. Do you get tired of those things? Maybe. I don't know yet. Maybe beauty and poignancy and clarity can get boring, just like collecting seashells gets boring, when it seems like you've seen the same smoothed over, beaten-by-the-waves shell several hundred times, with its delicate coloring and smooth edges and evenly curved lines. Doesn't matter. For now I want to still be able to plunge to the depths of some terribly complicated problem that I've no hope of solving and try to discuss it out with some good thinkers.
but not at 2:35 AM.
goodnight, reader.
p.s.: ok, so i know this post isn't particularly lucid. I mean, it doesn't really have to do with any of the specific things I was thinking about that blessed me so much. But this is the... the outsider's version. After all, I'm not about to share my innermost thoughts on the internet. How silly (in all respects of the word) THAT would be.
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